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Joke of the Day

"So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"What's the most casual crime you can commit? Shooting the breeze."

"A good time I met a girl at the bar and she said she'd show me a good time. So we went outside, and she ran the 100 meter dash in 10.53 seconds."

"I just want to be wealthy enough to fill a swimming pool with puppies. A lot of puppies are going to die but I think it will be worth it"

"Writing ""Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???"" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram"

"I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'"

"No One Puts Baby in the Corner: A Feng Shui Guide to Nurseries"

"Thumb sucking My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a cock on it"

"Men can I ask whats up with your all-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body wash/insect repellent/motor oil/mouth wash/sun block/laundry detergent"

"My middle finger is always ready to give you a standing ovation after you say something stupid."