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Joke of the Day

"So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"Pretty gay how some dudes like other dudes."

"Watched The Little Mermaid with my girl last night & realized that Aerial could be on an episode of Hoarders. : /"

"student: may i use the bathroom? Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet. Student: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: wheres the p? Student: running down my leg."

"I got kicked out of a store trying to buy condoms All I wanted was to use their fitting room!"

"My wife and I are walking through Central Park and pointing out all of the places that we remember seeing dead bodies on Law & Order."

"Why is the Ocean blue? Because the fish go blublublu."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Bonus: Knock knock. Who's there? Not the little girl... EDIT: Pardon the crappy delivery, english isn't my fist language. ;)"

"Want to hear a pizza joke? It's pretty cheesy."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond... By the end you wish you had a club and a spade."