205159

Joke of the Day

"Writing ""Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???"" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram"

"[11am] Me: oh look, it's sunny out. Me: I should go running. Me: or swimming! Me: these Doritos are delicious."

"My wife deserved it... She didn't let me wank, I had to beat something!"

"Some people say that 9/11 was America's darkest hour but they got it backwards, 11/9"

"Confucius say virginity like giant bubble One prick, all gone"

"RIP Robin Williams I dont think hes coming back through a board game this time though"

"Why do cats and dogs lick their own genitals? Because they can reach."

"You're not considered antisocial if no one wants to talk to you."

"Two fish in a tank... ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"

"Human Resources just came up with a cool new term for just about everything I like to do at work. They call it ""inappropriate"""