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Joke of the Day

"Thumb sucking My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a cock on it"

"How does a tail pipe feel after a long car ride? exhausted."

"I tried to donate a kidney once... ...they wouldn't take it though because I wouldn't tell them where I got it."

"My dad drove in a pothole and his tire popped, this is how it went Badum-tsss"

"What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him? Amen"

"I found my first gray pubic hair today. It was in my Big Mac"

"On a flight with my friend, he asks ""if the door was to blow open would we fall out?"" I reply ""nah I'm pretty sure we'd still be friends"

"Batman doesn't kill. Wayne Enterprises is a defense contractor. Guy is conflicted about the wrong things."

"A man trying to scam people into buying land in space was baffled when it didnt work. . . His sign read: 'SPACE AVAILABLE'"

"I hear China makes some high-quality wine... ...people have been raving about the Grape of Nanking."