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Joke of the Day

"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library... I said ""Shit man, it's 2016 you can use whatever printer you want!"""

Next Joke
 
"I'll never forget the first piece of advice my parents gave me when I was young:""Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot...""It got me far"
"Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*"
"A man walks into a bar... ...and screams ""Ouch!"""
"Why couldn't the pig run? He pulled his hamstring!"
"What spice can't be in sol food? Ginger."
"5-year-old: How many pull-ups can you do? Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses? Me: Almost 1."
"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"
"How many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them. One to hold the bulb and the rest to screw the world."
"""Java is to Javascript as ham is to hamster."""