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Joke of the Day

"dad: You're sitting at the kids table this Thanksgiving me: Why? dad: What's a fuse? me: Uh dad: Who's SpongeBob's best friend? me: Patr- oh"

"How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None they'd rather keep their clients in the dark."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anya ! Anya who ? Anya best behavior !"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that"

"How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense? I'll tell you guys tomorrow"

"If you message me with thanks, please include what you're thanking me for. I've been counting my money and sniffing my fingers all morning."

"Losing your spouse can be hard. But it's not impossible."

"Why can't spooky skeletons cross the road? No guts."

"I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as ""quiet"""

"Mosquito's are like dirty used needles, that can fly."