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Joke of the Day
"How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense? I'll tell you guys tomorrow"
Next Joke
"What do you call a sad Ent? Mourning wood."
"*opens briefcase and presentation about 9/11 conspiracies falls out* But that means [cut to my son giving presentation about cool dinosaurs]"
"I'd probably be, like, 5% cooler if I wasn't terrified of being on a moving skateboard."
"People who put a shitload of bumper stickers on the back of their vehicles love to loudly refer to God as a ""she"" in public places."
"My girlfriend gave me a handjob yesterday... and told me ""My God, your penis is huge!"" I replied, ""You're pulling my leg!"""
"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese."
"Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned"
"Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: ""Me sick, no work"" Boss SMS back: ""When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"" 2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss: ""Me ok, ur wife very sweet"""
"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."