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Joke of the Day

"I've been watching women's Olympic beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury. But I should be fine by tomorrow."

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him what happened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""

"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."

"I walked up to a girl and said, ""If you were a drug, I would overdose!"" She said, ""Thanks."" I said, ""Then you wouldn't be able to ruin my life any more."""

"Why didn't the peanut butter... Fuck the jelly? Because he was already in a jam"

"If we're dating and you call me bae, boo or daddy... I'm walking out on you like, well, your daddy."

"If love at first sight was really a thing, I would've been married to Cheetara from Thundercats"

"Chelsea FC captain had a night to forget, his performance was Terryble"

"Spicy Pickup Line If I had a can of salt, I'd assault you. But all I have is cumin."

"How do you make Canadians? Fucking eh's. I'll see myself out."