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Joke of the Day

"People think i am so incapable of doing anything on my own that even if i commit suicide they would say it was murder."

"Do competitive origami artists ever fold under pressure?"

"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."

"What if Hitler was cast for 'The Matrix' instead of Keanu Reeves? The movie would have been pretty... Neo-Nazi."

"This is my stepladder... I never knew my real ladder."

"What kind of girls date firefighters? Hose."

"What is the difference between straight and bisexual? A 6 pack and a backrub"

"I sponsor one of those poor kids on TV. He sends me nice letters, I mail him pictures of me smiling, throwing away food."

"Please don't put out your cigarettes in the urinal... they are so damn hard to light up again."

"I'd like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer... ...so...dad, if you're up there..."