182136

Joke of the Day

"If Hitler were a black supremacist English teacher what would the Holocaust be called? White-out."

"Why is Simba slower that his dad? Because his papa mufasa."

"I shower with a suicide note in case I slip and die, at least I can make it look intentional instead of stupid."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anyone to know he's fucking a chicken."

"Gift horse ""My gums are bleeding."" Dentist ""Well this is a professional dilemma..."""

"3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy. MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect..."

"There's something I should tell you... ""Oh god what is it"" I have crabs ""NOOO"" *holds up two crabs* ""Oh I thought you meant-"" And HIV ""NOOO"""

"Doctors love to slip in that worst case scenario. ""It could be a cold or strep throat or WEST NILE VIRUS but I'm sure it's nothing."""

"Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball"

"SNL contacted me about being a writer, and I was like ""Pfft. I got my own gig"" and they were like ""BEEP BEEP BEEP"" because my alarm went off"