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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if your water is about to break? Someone from Flint puts a glass between your legs"

"There used to be an ad campaign that said ""go to work on an egg""... I tried that, the egg wouldn't move and eventually it cracked, so I went to work on a bicycle as I usually do."

"I taped a slice of bread on the ceiling. And that's how you start a rave party in Ethiopia."

"What do you call someone having butt sex with Stephen Hawking? Ingenius"

"It makes me a little sad that shaking a vending machine might be the closest I ever come to fighting a robot."

"I think my cell mate is gay... He closes his eyes when I kiss him goodnight."

"There is a 88% chance my chalk outline will be holding a piece of cheese."

"Computers seized from Wiener prompt new FBI investigations. In her defense, Bill Clinton said it's not the first time she was betrayed by a Wiener."

"I wish I could find a girl that loved me as much as she loves her hair."

"Important Message for Every MAN if you MARRY ONE WOMAN She will fight with you... But if you MARRY TWO WOMAN they will fight for you :D So! Think Different... Add Wife... Have Life... ;)"