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Joke of the Day

"How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire."

"What did the knife say to the pretty lady? Nothing, she knew what was coming..."

"Celebrating National Sex Day the only way I know how Not having it."

"How many ADD's does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go fishing"

"Wife: How many beers did you have while I was gone? Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake."

"me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you...know how jobs work"

"Life is like toilet paper You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"Just found out a spider's been living in my shower. Just hanging out. Quietly. Watching me. So, long story short, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND!"

"Why don't 90 year old women have sex? Have YOU ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Dark humor never gets old. Just like children in Africa."