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Joke of the Day

"What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college? Bison"

"I don't always take the derivative of x^2.... But when I do, it's dos equis."

"What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea? Space."

"Woody Allen's version of his life will be his most brilliant fiction."

"I know a few people who are the human version of an email missing the attachment."

"Why did the blind lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."

"My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world. So i'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave"

"My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are. I laugh a bit more."

"How do you make a hormone? You pay her. (This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)"

"Officer: Is that cocaine? Me: I dunno, let me smell... (Boom! No evidence!)"