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Joke of the Day

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too."

"I recently watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends."

"I was eating out this girl the other day and there was Horse semen in there and I was like ""Damn,Grandma that is how you died"""

"Did you know the bible was written by M. Night Shyamalan? The plot twist was crrraaazzy. Jesus was a jew the whole time"

"I like to use big words that I don't understand- they make me seem more photosynthesis."

"What do you call a gay herbal doctor? A homeosexual."

"What rhymes with Snoop? Dr Dre"

"I wrote a limerick on a train yesterday There once was a fella named Rick Who started to date this hot chick But brief was romance For tucked in her pants This bitch the whole time had a dick."

"Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery? Because he was inuit to win it"