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Joke of the Day
"*gets crushed by a bus* *checks to see if phone is intact*"
Next Joke
"I can't bend my pinky without my ring finger bending as well..is this normal? Let's hear your results 'cause I know you just tried it."
"[God creating the octopus] Idk, maybe make it look like the time I tried to cram the old pool noddles into a trash bag."
"Hey airplane designers, why don't the people who pick the number of windows talk to the people who pick the number of rows?"
"My wife threw a doughnut at my head. Now I have a glazy eye."
"What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college? About thirty thousand dollars a year."
"I really want to take my girlfriend out to dinner... ...But she asks way too much per hour."
"I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas... ...it's not her main present - just a stocking filler!"
"What's the best thing about having sex with 29 year olds? There's 20 of them..."
"Did you hear about the butterfly that ate too many stones? ... he shat-a-pillar."