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Joke of the Day

"[God creating the octopus] Idk, maybe make it look like the time I tried to cram the old pool noddles into a trash bag."

"I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"Did you hear that the BBC have sacked Bob the Builder? They feel they can no longer trust a children's TV star who claims to be able to 'fix it'"

"Movie theaters do not explicitly prohibit saxophones during showtime so feel free to play your saxophones during showtime"

"Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope? He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope."

"Why did the vampire go to the doctors? Because he was coffin..."

"A terrorist walks into a Christmas party Just kidding. He drove."

"What does a gay horse eat for dinner? Haaaayyyyyyy"

"I read an article about the dangers of heavy drinking the other day, and it really scared me! So that's it... Starting today, no more reading."

"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? She lay awake all night wondering if there was a Dog."