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Joke of the Day

"Happy 420 to me, Happy 420 to me, Its not 4/20 anymore, But fuck it, Its 420 to me!"

"Live for what tomorrow has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away."

"Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play."

"I used to be a taxi driver but I had to quit... I couldn't stand people talking behind my back."

"Getting carried away is usually fun, unless it's by a truck."

"What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love? A stupid Cupid!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 11? Because 11 snaps people's necks with her mind."

"119 years ago today a Canadian cargo vessel sank off the coast of New York, her cargo 50,000 cases of mayonnaise. And that's why we celebrate Sinko de Mayo"

"I am fresh out of milkshakes, but I'm pretty sure that my willingness to put out on the first date will bring all the boys to the yard."

"If a vampire bites his tongue, does his tongue become a vampire? Tongpire?"