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Joke of the Day

"[leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? ""Oh wow, how embarrassing"" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*"

"My dad told me that no one Really needs Heroin in thier Life I think my dad is sexist"

"What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes? A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro"

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who need closure..."

"Imagine if people referenced the Beach Boys more often! Wouldn't it be nice?"

"3 Trojans once tried that horse trick on a Greek city... Poor guys drowned in semen without ever being discovered."

"*looks up ""how to disarm a bomb in 10 seconds"" on YouTube* *ad starts playing* *looks up ""how to disarm a bomb in 5 seconds""*"

"Dozens of Foxnews employees found dead in horrible murder spree! They were in the Kentucky Church in Kingsman! /(this joke makes sense if you have seen the movie)"

"shaggy: hey scoob where's my burger scooby: ruh roh shaggy: great danes only live 8 years you know scooby: ruck roo"

"A Russian wife goes to police station. Russian Wife: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He has not returned home yet. Russian Inspector: Why don't you cook something else?"