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Joke of the Day

"My boss asked me to fix the plug on his lamp... I simply refused."

"A duck walks in to an alternative medicine practicioners office. Points a wing at him and says with a frown: ""Quack!"""

"Person: ""That's a beautiful baby."" Me: ""Thanks, I named him after his grandpa."" Person: ""Awe, what's his name?"" Me: ""Grandpa."""

"What happened to the gay wizard? (mildly offensive maybe) He went off with a poof."

"What does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night."

"What's the difference between a kitten and your wife? You actually want to cuddle a kitten after you fuck it."

"What do your mom and Poland have in common? a lot of countries have been inside her."

"Shout ""out"" to... ...baseball players who have three strikes."

"Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well? He should have been attending to the sick and left the well alone."