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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a kitten and your wife? You actually want to cuddle a kitten after you fuck it."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizzas didn't scream when Hitler put them in the oven."

"Every time I lay down in bed I think 'why didn't I do this sooner?'"

"what do Chinese people say when it is sunny outside. what do Chinese people say when it is sunny outside i wish it was raining cats and dogs that would be dericious"

"From now on non fiction and fiction books shall be referred to as Fo Reals and Not Fo Reals. Pls pass along,"

"[God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems."

"What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner? The placement of the dirt bag."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Man it's hot in here"" The other muffin turns and screams"" Holy fuck a talking muffin!"""

"My wife... It's difficult to say what she does... She sells seashells on the seashore."

"How can you tell if a gay person is dead? Check pulse"