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Joke of the Day

"What does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"[graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great"

"I don't even bother filling out the ""From"" field on gift tags during Xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious."

"If the backup sensor beeping in my car is keeping with the beat of the song I'm listening to I'm probably just gonna hit whatever it is."

"Just watched the uncut version of Scarface. Face"

"dad, why does my cake say ""we dont want a talking cake"" ""its a long story son"""

"Why are crabs always tired? Because they sleep in snatches."

"""Hey! I don't remember all those CGI space-dudes at the reception!""--George Lucas's wife re-watching their old wedding vids."

"If the tv show ""Cops"" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from ppl with blurry faces. They always cause trouble."

"I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good"