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Joke of the Day

"KIDNAPPER: [on phone] I'm holding your son for ransom. DAD: I have no money, what's the ransom? KIDNAPPER: Bring me one rich kid."

"Thank you, U.S. Senate. I've been asking and telling people things all day!"

"Why don't you eat a girl the morning after sex? Have you tired pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwhich."

"What did the fat piece of shit say when he screwed up? Sorry that I screwed up **lards**."

"My girlfriend stormed into the room. ""Why is there lipstick on your collar?"" she yelled. ""It's part of the design,"" I said, opening up my wardrobe, ""Look, I have the entire collection."""

"What do black Eskimos live in? A nigloo."

"How do you know a woman is wearing tights? - Her knees swell up when she farts."

"Hey, teenage girls, don't get pregnant. Unless you want your own TV show."

"What type of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"SHARKY_GAMING SHOULD DIE IN HELL HE SHOULD BE FORCED TO FUCK MY ASS AND EVERY THRUST HE DOES HE FEELS THE PAIN WE DO He Betrayed Us. He Should Burn. He Should Die."