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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? [NSFW] I wouldn't pay five hundred dollars to have a lentil on my face."

"BOY: Dad , is a mermaid girl or a fish ? DAD : Well son that depends weather you are HORNY or HUNGRY ."

"*rolls up sleeves* *gets high on sleeves*"

"Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !"

"Me: Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family! Dishonor on your house! Olive Garden server: Please stop! I'll bring more cheese to grate!"

"A naked women robbed a bank.... A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face"

"Taught a man how to BUY fish. So much easier."

"My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights."

"There's something really addictive about Brownies... ... I think it's their exotic accent."

"Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life."