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Joke of the Day

"In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors."

"i just realized there are more toes in the world than people"

"I get a lot of compliments on my stamp collection but philately will get you nowhere."

"What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know? Jiu Jitsu."

"I'm not saying your dumb. I'm saying you're dumb."

"Do you know what one ocean said to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. sea what i did there? I'm shore you got it come on, dont be a beach"

"BEST vine with nigga - chocolate milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JZfR4PwIbs"

"What gets higher with age? Willie Nelson"

"What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert? A Standing Blow-vation."

"I lost my phone when it was on vibrate I guess if I loved it so much I should have put a ring on it"