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Joke of the Day

"Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !"

Next Joke
 
"I don't eat cats and dogs. Dogs are cute and I'm allergic to cats. *my lawyer leans in and whispers in my ear* Cats are also cute."
"Do you know what's funnier than 24? *25*"
"*Guy is rushed in on a stretcher* DR: what happened EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE"
"Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy."
"How do you catch a runaway laptop? With an Internet."
"I hate people that can't tell the difference between ""you're"" and ""your"" their so stupid"
"Autocorrect changed ""baby rattle"" to ""baby battle"" and now I'm googling where to buy tiny weapons."
"I told a waitress she was much prettier without glasses so she set down her tray of drinks."
"I used to worry about offending people's moms on facebook but now they all post memes like ""I chug vodka to keep from drowning my children"""