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Joke of the Day

"My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights."

"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."

"What does a pregnant teen and her baby have in common? They both thought ""my mom's gonna kill me."""

"""Honey the baby is crowning!"" *Lifts up hospital gown* ""Well excuse me YOUR MAJESTY!"""

"What's the difference between a pest and vermin? Walt Disney."

"[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you ""..y..o..u..'r..e.."""

"a sort algorithm walks into a bar he orders anything"

"*cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* ""Damn, a cute bunny was murdered"" ""No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"""

"Why do fire departments have dalmatians? To help the firemen find the hydrants"

"I saw a black man drop his wallet today. I opened it up, chased him down the street and said,Mr Jones? He said, No that's not me."