133984

Joke of the Day

"My friend's boyfriend is an optometrist and a sadomasochist. She says he's a real sight for sore eyes even though he can be a pain in the ass."

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire."

"reasons white people riot: 1. their sports team wins 2. their sports team loses 3. no more tickle me elmos 4. tea 5. pumpkins"

"You're the best ninja I've ever seen! And the worst ninja in general."

"Just saw a guy wearing sunglasses on the back of his head practicing his golf swing empty-handed. Hope my daughter's a lesbian."

"So Jesus walks into a hotel he throws a bunch of nails on the counter and asks:"" hey, can you put me up for the night?"" (sorry, if repeat)"

"What is the difference between a Gynecologist and a Urologist ? The smell of their fingers."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Betsy ! Betsy who ? Betsy of all it's a cadillac !"

"Did you hear about the singing laptop? It's a Dell."

"Nancy Reagan gave the ultimate sacrifice today... She'd rather die than see Trump win the GOP nomination"