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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the singing laptop? It's a Dell."

"My dad never really loved me as a child I can't really blame him though ; I wasn't born until he was an adult."

"My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That's not my waiter."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 122, 123, 124!"

"So I Went to the doctor And he told me to quit masturbating. I said ""whys that?"" He said ""Because you're in my office"""

"Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn"

"why do birds sudenly appear every time you are near and how do u always manage to fit that many birds in ur mouth to begin with"

"I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen."

"Why did the Xbox owner cross the road? To fuck your mom."

"My doctor said that she thinks I have irritable bowel syndrome. I'm not surprised, I irritate everyone else so it makes sense that my bowels would be sick of my shit."