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Joke of the Day

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire."

"What did the Pie say when he failed a math test? ""How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"""

"Worrying that ghosts watch you use the toilet is a pretty legitimate concern."

"I asked my English teacher whether I should pronounce ""either"" as ""ee-ther"" or ""eye-ther"" He said, ""You can say either."""

"What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell."

"I thought I might be pregnant. It turns out I'm just three months fat."

"I keep trying to make funny eye puns... But my friends say they keep getting cornea and cornea."

"After learning about the Oedipus Complex... ..it was a parent who I was attracted to. *Edit apparent to a parent. This joke is terrible written. Sorry."

"If people smoke cigarettes, what do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? One of them has hope in her soul."