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Joke of the Day

"Is there any Indian left? No, there's naan left."

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"Why do blonds have schools underwater. Because deep down, they're not so stupid."
"Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. How the tables have turned Kate."
"They say to have reasonable expectations when dating, and to look in a mirror to see what you can get. 2/10 looking for a 10/2, please pst"
"You know how most packages say ""Open here"". What is the protocol if the package says ""Open somewhere else""?"
"What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals going down on one another"
"So a soccerball walks into a bar The bartender kicked him out."
"I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car"
"What does Sean Connery's nemesis and the crater of a volcano have in common? They're both ash-holes."
"If one more person asks me to do a summersault.... .......I swear I'm going to flip!!!"