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Joke of the Day

"They say to have reasonable expectations when dating, and to look in a mirror to see what you can get. 2/10 looking for a 10/2, please pst"

"Sex is easy... Telling your dad he's pregnant isn't."

"How bill Gates counts 1 2 3 95 98 XP Vista 7 8 10 I bet he failed math"

"I farted on the train and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice. (Not an original joke)"

"What's 20 feet long and smells like piss? It's a line dance at the old folks home..."

"If girls have two X chromosomes... Do pornstars have 3 X chromosomes?"

"I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all."

"What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public? A private tooter!"

"No, takeout goes in the front seat. You sit in the back."

"Bae: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, I'm coming over. - Me and Bae having CB Radio sex"