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Joke of the Day

"[Arkham Asylum] GUARD 1: that guy's CRAZY *gestures to Joker's cell* JOKER: *using Bing instead of Google* GUARD 2: *whispers* holy shit"

"If a woman has fallen an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her."

"I like my coffee like I like my women.... .....black and with a dick in it."

"Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones. He knocked out 909 people with one punch."

"Wind chimes. Something I've never purchased. Can't see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what'd be nice? Noise."

"Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree."

"How do Asians see the world? In widescreen."

"Why is imgur down? It was over *cat*pacity."

"Are we done? Can we go? -A memoir."

"If I was a detective, my main suspect would always be the person who returns to the scene of the crime AND is eating a Klondike bar."