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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my women.... .....black and with a dick in it."
Next Joke
"Easter is almost here. So to celebrate, I'm going to get nailed and hammered like Jesus would want me to."
"I get really bad anxiety when driving over bridges. My therapist says I have truss issues."
"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't like humour."
"Knock knock... **Knock Knock** Who's there? **Interrupting Cow.** Interrupting Cow who? **Moo...... FUCK!**"
"Shop Locally. Sometimes we have the thing you need maybe I dunno come back next week."
"Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle."
"Why did the viper want to become a python? He got the coiling."
"If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again."
"[bank robbery] ""Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?"" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY"