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Joke of the Day
"me: *tries to help old lady cross the street* old lady: I have a boyfriend."
Next Joke
"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."
"What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates? Cheapskates getting cheap skates"
"The Past, The Present, and The Future all went camping... How? They all stayed in seperate tents!"
"A brother and sister are fucking and the girl suddenly giggles Brother: Why are you giggling? Sister: Because! You fuck just like dad, haha! Brother: I know, mom told me"
"""To Kill a Mockingbird"" ""Oh, I just used a slingshot."""
"69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes? Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder."
"[robbing Whole Foods] ""All the cash in a bag NOW!"" 100% organic reusable bag ok? ""Yes!"" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag"
"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"