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Joke of the Day

"69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"How did the frog die? He kermits suicide. I'll show myself out now."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck-up cunts."

"What do you call Nitrogen after the sunrises? Daytrogen."

"Salamanders are the most passive aggressive animal. You grab their tail and they're like ""have that one, I don't even want it"""

"How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to take credit for it."

"My gf told me to stop pretending i'm amy winehouse I said no, no, no"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? They woke him up."

"If you make that Civic muffler loud enough, you can drown out your dad's voice calling you a worthless piece of crap. Almost."

"Tom hanks probably fucked that volleyball"