137815

Joke of the Day

"What is a priest's favorite snack? Little boysenberries."

"Woah guys, did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together? OMg!"

"What did the left eye say to the right eye? Just between you and me, something smells down there."

"I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial."

"I have a boat that beats all other boats in races... ... It's a champion ship."

"People who automatically say it will get better without actually knowing what the problem is... is why there are bodies buried in my yard"

"Look, if crying doesn't solve the problem, then maybe I'm just not the person you should be asking."

"From my Dad: I never did get around to paying for my exorcism So now I've been repossessed."

"Now the UK is out of the EU we can ban pre-shredded cheese. Make Britain grate again."

"FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends."