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Joke of the Day

"Why do mules not work as hard as horses? Because they're half-assed!"

"Men in hell.. ""Did you see Satan's wife. She's bomb, dude!"" Women in heaven, "" Did you see those Angels? They have no style!"""

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy? Because he was too far out... (dude)."

"No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler."

"What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters? Jesus may actually return some day."

"My only talent is sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed."

"God's plan to use wasps to pollinate didn't work out. So he had to resort to Plan Bee."

"What did Spock find in the toilet? Captain's log."

"Did you hear that scientists recently discovered a new state of matter? Now there are four! Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives."

"What's the difference between oral sex and...... Brussel Sprouts? If you're forced to have either as a kid you're going to hate it as an adult."