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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock You: ""Knock knock"" Victim: ""Who's there?"" You: ""I ate up"" Victim: ""I ate up who?"" (May need to be read aloud)"

"My cousin was Mulder on Halloween. He loves the X-Files! Oh stupid autocorrect. That should have said ""murdered"". And ""loved"", past tense."

"Why dont my dick work? Ive been punching it for a good half hour now, and it still wont get a job."

"What do you call a Vulcan sheep? Shbaaaaaaaahk"

"Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Because the poor didn't have any !"

"I like to sip a cup of coffee on a Sunday, grab a book and start worrying about Monday."

"If you are going to use a boat to escape make sure its in water not in water town!"

"A man tried to force his wife to take an aspirin when she got in bed with him. She began yelling and saying ""I don't have a headache!"" The man replied, ""Good, let's fuck."""

"Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday"

"My doctor told me to stop masturbating When I asked him why he said, ""So I can examine you."""