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Joke of the Day

"My friend is scared of the homeless people he sees on the streets. I told him to stop being hobophobic."

"If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son. We live in a patriarchal society where they're not considered as important or valid."

"What do you call the baseball team made out of Pokemon? The New York Mankeys!"

"HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1) Put a saddle on it 2) Get on 3) Oh god it's destroying the village with fire 4) WHY DIDN'T I GET A CAT INSTEAD?!"

"How do you make a cat bark like a dog? Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: ""WOOF!"""

"Guess what? Chicken Butt."

"WIFE: would you chop these onions for me ME: sure WIFE: I meant with a knife ME (tightening the belt on my karate robe): aww man"

"What do you call it when a homeless wino robs a gay man in a park late at night? A WHAM reunion."

"I was casually playing while my teammate wrote ""I fucked your mom last night"" I replied ""no you didn't"" Then my dad ran into my room and told me that he indeed did."

"Baby seal walks into a club... ..."