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Joke of the Day

"If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you, son. We live in a patriarchal society where they're not considered as important or valid."

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"My wife asked me to play doctor with her... ...she is now waiting for three hours in front of the bedroom."

"When abroad, James Bond is known as +44 07."

"A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body."

"IF SATAN IS READING THIS PLEASE MAKE THE FINGERBOARD ON MY DESK DO 1 FLIP"

"what do you call a cat that copies off others' exam papers? a cheetah"

"Pretty sure Dora goes on crazy adventures with a monkey because her mom is on Twitter."

"What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash slash backslash slash slash escape."

"What is more inappropriate than a 7 year old saying ""I drink coffee""? Her saying ""I drink it black, like my men"""