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Joke of the Day

"If you're watching a Cops rerun and realize you've already seen that episode, you're officially no better than anyone on the show."

"Know how much a pirate pays for corn? Bucaneer"

"Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill."

"[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut."

"Chris Rea came to my garden centre today... ...he bought a driving gnome for Christmas."

"what do you call a deer with no eyes? 'No idea.....' 'What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?' 'Still no idea.......' My all time favourites :)"

"Moves shopping cart to allow car to park Lady doesn't even say thanks Puts cart back behind her car Leaves."

"My girlfriend is a porn star! She's gonna be pissed when she finds out. EDIT: thanks for front page!"

"[me adjusting paintball mask] it's too bad we aren't on the same team date: yeah"

"Get off your high horse. Send your high horse to rehab. Keep an eye out to make sure your horse isn't getting high again."