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Joke of the Day

"[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut."

"Anyone know someone who owns an ark? I think I Noah guy..."

"A mexican walks into a wall, what breaks first? His lawnmower. A jew runs into a wall, what breaks first? His nose."

"If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer."

"The agony of dyslexia I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him: ""You idiot!"" ""You're supposed to turn your clock back!"

"Why did the midget cross the road? Because he was getting chased by two assholes still drunk from St. Patrick's Day."

"I almost had a threesome once. I only needed two more people."

"Why do people say love is like chemistry? Because you can put it in someones drink"

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? Because the ref was blowing a foul."

"How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't, it was just an Aleutian."