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Joke of the Day
"Chris Rea came to my garden centre today... ...he bought a driving gnome for Christmas."
Next Joke
"Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight."
"Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver."
"me: *pretending to know about vegetables to impress the cashier* corm is one of my favorite yellows *gingerly taps banana*"
"Shocking that people who've been physically assaulting each other for 3 hours would lose their tempers."
"Villain: We meet again, Mr. Bond Bond: You don't remember my 1st name do you Villain: Sure I do. It's uh.. Bond: C'mon this is our 3rd fight"
"[standing next to the boss at the urinal] Ok, don't act weird. ""That's some impressive bladder volume, sir."""
"I told my doctor i was scared and nervous when i got tested for HIV... He said 'Just calm down and try to think positive.'"
"What does a cow who's a jerk grow up to be? Beef Jerky."
"I like my women like I like my joke formats: worn out from overuse."