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Joke of the Day

"The doctor said to treat my daughter's scratch with alcohol, so I kissed it."

"My friend told me what the Mile High Club was the other day But honestly, I don't give a flying fuck."

"What do you call the misuse of a meme? A misdememer."

"some people want youtube to host the VMAs next year... i think there'd be too many ads :/"

"The trouble with having an Asian fetish AND a foot fetish... You're bound to get off on the Wong foot."

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? It's white and on their land."

"Your Momma is so classless... She could be a Marxist utopia"

"Why do engineers mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31=DEC 25"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 189,463 times, you're the editor of HuffPo."

"The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months"