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Joke of the Day

"What is the greatest dilemma for a Jewish mother? She finds out her son is gay, but is dating a doctor."

"I just killed 84 birds with 1 stone at Petsmart, totally destroying the previous record of 2."

"I don't know. ""Your goose is cooked"" seems like a positive. Like someone saying, ""Hey, dinner's ready. We're having goose."""

"What do you do when the dishwasher stops working? You tell her to get back to work."

"Why do the Kurds have no state of their own? They didn't get their whey."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker? One of them starts a religion after it gets nailed."

"""I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!"" - every furniture store owner"

"You gotta give it up to whoever invented mistletoe at Christmas, all they did was hang up a weed, but were like, ""now ye must kiss me."""

"PSA: This year, lets refrain from the 'I haven't taken a shower since last year!' jokes. Please and thank you."

"Just gonna say... Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0 Number of times after - 1 Draw your own conclusions..."