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Joke of the Day

"""I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor,"" Holmes said. ""You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."""

"I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn't punch them in the head as soon as they got here."

"GIVE ME FUEL GIVE ME FIRE GIVE ME MILK THAT'S NOT EXPIRED"

"What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh"

"By now, I've stopped calling it ""sandwich"" meat and started calling it ""stand in front of the fridge and eat it out of the baggie"" meat."

"2 blondes are checking a car ""Does the turn signal work?"" ""Yes! No. Yes! No. Yes!"""

"Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in? A: Handcuffs."

"How to piss of a reddit moderator? [Removed]"

"What happens when Fonzie doesn't fold his clothes after doing laundry? His shirts get all winkly."

"Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive? The brides are already dressed in white."