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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Terrorist training camp and a Pakistani kindergarten? Shit I dunno, I just fly the drone."

"Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help."

"What is bruce lee's favourite drink? A fruit punch."

"What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral? One less drunk."

"Money is the root of all larger amounts of money."

"Thinking about calling 911 just to feel a fireman's embrace."

"What did one motherfucker say to the other motherfucker? Hows it going motherfucker"

"I'm gonna be so pissed if I die in the middle of an argument I'm about to win."

"Me: Yes honey.. I know.. a stroller for the baby. I got it. *hangs up* Salesman: As I was saying, the largest hamster ball we sell is a-"

"What do you call a koala that drives? A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*"