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Joke of the Day
"What is the driest soda you can buy? Baking soda."
Next Joke
"How are rookie marathon runners like people with erectile dysfunction? There both just honestly happy to finish"
"8yo [looking at a poorly wrapped gift] was Santa drunk when he wrapped this? Me: that's purely speculation"
"Who me? Oh I'm just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun"
"Two dust pans were dry humping.. I was like dude, get a broom already!"
"Did you hear about the Italian documentary on suppositories? It's called Innuendo..."
"My wife don't want to have anal sex Butt fuck her"
"Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way."
"Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle"
"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... I only know this because this joke is reposted here every god damn week."