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Joke of the Day

"American political party symbols are spot on... Trump is the elephant in the room, and the DNC is full of jackasses!"

"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"

"I like my women like I like my golf score Mid-eighties and with slight handicap."

"Me: One day I took my friend- Him: Wait, you have a friend? Me: Yes Him: Wow, ok, go on Me: So I took my friend to the vet for her shots and"

"I've discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number."

"I'm tired of people complaining about trumps policies... so I decided to detail them out here"

"Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally."

"Why does the leprechaun laughs when it runs? Because the grass tickles its balls"

"What do you call a puppy on its period in the peak of summer? A hot dog with ketchup at one end."

"What's your best mattress joke? Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)"