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Joke of the Day

"What's your best mattress joke? Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)"

"A love letter from biscuit maker: Dear marie, today is good day, u r anmol for me... but u have crack jacked my heart, bcoz i have a little heart, now i m in 50/50 position..."

"What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino? Hell if I know! (elephino)"

"guaranteed Smile... possible Snigger if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

"Genetically modified fruit never ceases to amaze me. Check out this unnaturally large melon. Ah, it's not a melon. It's a grape."

"25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated."

"I'm a suicide bomber with confidence issues, AMA! EDIT: Wow, this blew up!"

"OMG a Matterbaby just washed up on Santa Monica beach! *""what's a matter baby?""* uh... nothing what is a matter with you?"

"What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Dug"

"Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle."