132479

Joke of the Day

"If I can see your boner I'm going to acknowledge it with a subtle head nod. Respect."

"I recently found a girl using Chaturbate to play games and get tips. The other she was extra chatty.. If I wanted to watch girls pretend to play, I would go to Twitch."

"I just play poker so I can say I'm going all in without smirking."

"Did you hear about the zoo with only one dog? It was a shit zoo"

"Grasshopper walks into a bar Bartender goes ""*hey! you.... we have a drink named after you, buddy!*"" Grasshopper excitingly responds ""*no way! You have a drink named Steve?*"""

"*maintains eye contact while checking 'Dating Librarians For Dummies' out from the library."

"Is this a coincidence or did a Brazilian design the FIFA logo Is [this](http://i.imgur.com/3eTWAuQ) or is this not a facepalm??"

"Professor: ""Did you just show up drunk to my exam?"" No way ""Hungover then?"" Nope ""There's a lime wedge on your face"""

"Girl, do you watch football? Cuz I'll finger blast you harder than Jason Pierre Paul"

"What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl? They had a MetLife crisis. (that's the name of the stadium)"